Ode to a City

As I sit and ponder the week that just was, so many emotions run through my body. My never ending love for the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world; sadness for leaving the city that was once good to me and remains a very special place to visit; a new disrespect for the parents of the next generation; and the growing sense of mature days looming closer than they were just a couple weeks ago are just a few. Las Vegas…those two words, depending on the person, can have a profound meaning on life and how you chose to live it. Thinking back to the days when Las Vegas was just a truck stop in the desert makes you wonder how something so massive has come about in just under sixty years. Ben Siegel’s dream for “the Meadows” has turned a desert of dirt into a sea of green. Hotels are springing up bigger and better than the last ones and technology is taking hold of a billion dollar industry.

When I first visited Las Vegas, it was the summer of 2002. Less than a year had passed since the tragic events of September 11, 2001 and four pals (and their boss) took a trek to the biggest playground they have ever seen. The country was still trying to recover economically and the city was a virtual ghost town for the entire week. Traditions were built between this group that still exist today. They learned a new game involving two dice and a long table. They found out that the best place to play it wasn’t at the luxurious Bellagio, or Caesar’s Palace, but the dive casino next to Harrah’s, Casino Royale. For five days in the August of 2002, Las Vegas was the land of new discovery and new traditions.

As time passed, it was hard to not think of the days of making 15 successful points at the craps table and walking out with money in pocket. Two years later, an opportunity presented itself that could not be passed up. A free hotel room, thanks to a great relative’s invitation, was presented and the second trip was under way. It was another birthday weekend and poker was the craze of the country. Every casino it seemed was building a poker room within their confines and running tournaments. It was a good weekend as the poker gods smiled upon me at the Luxor. Seven hundred dollars for first place made the weekend that much longer. There was a feeling that went along with winning that losing the hard earned money would be even more tragic. Having won the tournament on a Friday and departure set for early Monday morning meant it was going to be a long weekend with limited play. Relentlessly though, the weekend went on. Successful craps sessions at the Casino Royale, dinner at Battista’s Hole in the Wall, and epic performances from the fountains of Bellagio made celebrating my 24th birthday a time I will never forget.

My 26th birthday came and went without a trip to Sin City and the bi-annual birthday trip tradition had fallen by the wayside. Thankfully though, the following February, a business opportunity presented itself and a convention of all things set up the next chapter in my history with Las Vegas. The company for the trip could have been worse, as proven by the previous trip’s intrusive guest, but a good time was not going to be passed up. With convention happenings lacking in excitement and the convention hall residing nearly 7 miles away from normal civilization on the Strip, what better to do than go back to the poker rooms and try once again to claim some glory. Fourth place this time and another three hundred fifty dollars for my efforts. Another hundred or so from the craps game at Casino Royale, greater fountain shows at Bellagio, dinner at Battista’s, and an entirely free trip made it another week in Vegas worth remembering.

Coming into this year, I had yet to take a significant other to Las Vegas. As one street worker put it in 2004, “why bring sand to the beach?” and not that I ever had a “what happens in Vegas” type of trip but I did realize that Las Vegas is a strange animal and that it was not for everyone. The nerves and wonder of what she would think went away IMMEDIATELY when we hit the strip in the rental car. I knew it was going to be a great week with the woman of my dreams. The Strip was as beautiful as ever. As always, construction was taking place all over. New condominiums were being built higher than the hotels currently on Las Vegas Boulevard. Business for the town seemed to be good.

It was not apparent until a couple hours into the stay why exactly it was. The reason Disney World is successful year in and year out is because it is a family destination. I do not know when Las Vegas began marketing to families but some travel agents, both domestic and international, must have it in their heads that Las Vegas is the kind of place to bring your family. The LAST thing I EVER thought would happen is that I would get heeled by a stroller in Las Vegas. The city that employs hundreds of illegals to hand out call girl cards with naked women on them is being overrun by moms and dads looking for the changing station closest to the slot machines. It is absurd to even think you should bring a child, let alone anyone under the age of twenty-one, to Las Vegas. It took nearly the entire week to find a hotel that was not family friendly. The Wynn, an example to anyone who wants to know what first class is all about, actually had a sign posted at their entrance that they did not allow strollers inside their hotel/casino. If you have looked at any of the pictures from this trip, the disgruntled looks are not from being unhappy where we were; it was because we had to watch where we were walking so we did not step on anyone’s children. If there is one word that can describe the feeling of spending a vacation in a place where kids are not necessarily welcome with a bunch of screaming kids and families; it is unreal. It seems as though the days of Sinatra and the Rat Pack are a distant memory. In a town already overrun by singers with restaurants like Jimmy Buffett and Toby Keith, it is only a matter of time before Miley Cyrus opens up Hannah Monatana’s I Wish I Could Be a Celebrity When I’m Older Bar and Grill.

I’m almost an hour into this rant of reminiscing into the past and I have to give thanks to chef/writer Anthony Bourdain for not only pointing out a great restaurant in Thomas Keller’s Bouchon, but for allowing the journalistic thoughts to flow when you care about something so much. Bourdain’s own adventure to Las Vegas was very similar to my own. There were several times throughout the week when I would turn to Kristen and say, “I can’t believe this is happening.”

One such time was my first experience with Cirque Du Soliel. The show Mystere, at Treasure Island, is one of the best performances I have ever seen. Besides the amazing talent of the performers, the visual and auditory accompaniment rivals that of what has to be a great acid trip. I walked out of their thinking that Hunter S. Thompson had to have a hand in the creative aspects of the show and that I hope his widow is receiving royalty checks. What can only be described as unbridled insanity, Mystere mystifies and entertains like nothing I have ever seen before.

I have always been a fan of the road trip and Las Vegas allows for day trips to places you might not get the opportunity to go on a normal basis. The trip to Hoover Dam on Monday afforded us a stop at a local eatery in Boulder City made famous by Guy Fieri and his show Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives. Living in Florida, it is hard to find really great diner food and the Coffee Cup delivered on all cylinders. It was the much-needed fuel for the desert temperatures and a giant wall holding up a man made lake. The Hoover Dam is something that pictures do not justify. Sure, you can watch Vegas Vacation and see Chevy Chase on the damn Dam tour, but for seventy dollars you might as well just enjoy the exterior aspects it has to offer.

The other road trip that took place was on my birthday. It is a hard thing to pass up seeing the Dave Matthews Band whenever they come to Florida. It is even harder to pass up seeing them in another state if it is only four hours from where you are going to be. We took off for Los Angeles Wednesday morning and made the journey through the desert to a place that I would never think of vacationing for more than a couple days. The drive was beautiful if you like the color brown. About halfway there during a lunch stop at the must have In N’ Out Burger, I received a couple phone calls for my birthday and my brother in law told me that the sax player for DMB had passed away. I honestly thought it was some kind of sick joke. I realized that LeRoi Moore was not playing with the band since his ATV accident earlier this year, but did not think it was anything life threatening. After a couple frantic phone calls, we confirmed that the show would go on, and so would our journey into LA. With the concert not starting until seven, and not planning on going back to Los Angeles for anything in particular, we went to Hollywood and the world famous Chinese Theater. It was an amazing thing to see the hands and feet of some of my favorite actors and actresses in cement. You hear about it on television and sometimes see it happening when a star is enshrined, but the collection is unlike I ever thought.

Onto the concert, and a 7-mile trip that took forty five minutes in fabulous Los Angeles traffic. I was unsure of the type of night it would be. Earlier this year I was fortunate enough to see Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band the first show they played after organist Danny Federici passed away. Not having seen them before, I did not have anything to compare their three-hour performance to. Having seen DMB four times previous to this, and three with LeRoi Moore on stage, I was torn. The band came on about thirty-five minutes after eight and played the most beautiful tribute to their friend for close to three hours. Laced with classics such as Seek Up, Warehouse, Jimi Thing, and Too Much, the band paid homage in epic form. It was obvious at times that it was hard for them to be on stage the day after everything happened but it was their way of moving on.

We moved on as well. Like Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau in Swingers, it was a Wednesday night and we were heading to Vegas baby, VEGAS! Thank God we had a convertible, much to the chagrin of my beautiful girlfriend who nearly froze coming through the desert, because it would have been really tough to stay awake otherwise. When we left Los Angeles it was sixty-five degrees outside. It was an absolutely beautiful evening. At certain elevations on the way back to Vegas, the temperature did hit eighty-five. It is crazy to drive less than four hours east to west and have a twenty-degree change in temperature. I know for sure that I would never do that drive again, and especially not at night. It was one of the most boring drives I have ever been on.

Which brings me to the final day in Las Vegas. The city has already taken back my budgeted bankroll for the week. It is true that if you play long enough, the house ALWAYS WINS. It was my turn to give it back. So what is there to do in Las Vegas if you are not gambling? There has to be other things. I mean, people are bringing their families here. I know, Half Priced Ticket window. In the fashion of TKTS in New York City, the Half Priced ticket booth was great. We got half priced tickets to Penn and Teller and dinner at a Brazilian Steakhouse for real cheap. As was the first time I saw them in 2002, Penn and Teller did not disappoint. They are entertainers through and through and even spend time with their fans afterwards. Getting to meet them again was a blast and it capped off a great week despite not winning any money.

As I wrap up this rant of epic proportions about a place very near and dear to me, I look back at the good times had and tip my hat once again to an epic birthday of epic proportions. I could not think of a better way to spend it than with the woman I love in the city that has captured me time and time again…wait, scratch that. Can someone take these damn kids to Disney World where they belong?

-August 23, 2008